Your Family’s Beginning Doesn’t Have to Define Its Future

My family, probably like many others, didn’t begin in the most traditional way.

I grew up in a Christian household. I had been taught about Christ and knew there was a foundation available to build my life upon. Somewhere along the way, I strayed from it. I was living in sin and moving through life like a ship without a rudder.

At twenty years old, I became a father.

My oldest daughter was, and continues to be, an amazing blessing. I loved her, even though I had a great deal to learn about responsibility, direction, and what it meant to lead a family.

Becoming a father prompted me to start taking steps toward being more responsible. Those steps mattered. Looking back, though, I can see that becoming more responsible and surrendering my life to Christ were things I still needed to bring together.

I got married when my oldest was five. It wasn’t until around the time my third child came along that I began taking my faith, and ultimately my responsibilities as a husband and father, much more seriously. I wish I had understood some of those things sooner. I also know I can’t go back and lead my family differently in those early years. What I can do is allow Christ to change how I lead them today.

That is the encouragement I want to offer any man wondering whether he has already missed his opportunity: you can begin building a stronger foundation right where you are.

When I began seeking Christ and learning how to become a better husband and father, growth started happening. Some changes came quickly. Others have required repeated lessons, uncomfortable conversations, and the willingness to admit I still have work to do.

I definitely don’t have this all figured out. I still make plenty of mistakes.

One of the things I continue to guard against is “The Arrival Syndrome”—the belief that I have reached a point where I no longer need to learn, listen, or change. It can be easy to compare who we are today with who we used to be and decide we are doing well enough. I am grateful for the progress God has made in my life. I also know that progress doesn’t mean His work in me is finished.

My wife and children deserve a man who remains willing to grow.

In John 15:5, Jesus says:

“Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit”— John 15:5, ESV

Jesus connects a fruitful life with abiding in Him. That is the foundation for the growth I’m talking about. We need an ongoing relationship with Christ that shapes how we think, respond, love, and lead. For me, that means continuing to seek Him through Scripture and prayer, then being willing to act on what He reveals. Sometimes that involves recognizing a misplaced priority. Sometimes it means listening when I would rather defend myself. Other times, it means admitting I was wrong and asking for forgiveness.

Christ works in us through the challenges and struggles we face. The very moments that expose our impatience, pride, or selfishness can become opportunities to surrender those things to Him and grow. That growth becomes meaningful to our families when they experience it in everyday life.

Our children need to see how we respond after making a mistake. Our wives need to see us follow through on the changes we say we want to make. The people closest to us should experience the fruit of the faith we profess.

Men, wherever your family’s story began, take an honest look at what you are building today.

Maybe you were given a strong example to follow. Maybe you entered marriage or fatherhood with very little direction. Maybe, like me, you knew better in some areas and still made choices you wish you could change. Your beginning matters because it is part of your story. It does not put you beyond Christ’s ability to change you. You can take responsibility for your decisions. You can ask for forgiveness. You can open your Bible, seek wise counsel, and become more intentional with the people God has entrusted to your care. You can begin with the next conversation, the next commitment you keep, and the next opportunity to serve your family.

Ladies, your encouragement matters in this process as well. When your husband is making sincere efforts to grow, let him know you see them. Pray for him, speak honestly with him, and cheer him on as he learns to lead and love more faithfully. His responsibility to pursue Christ and follow through remains his own. Your support can be a meaningful part of the journey you share. A stronger family takes time to build. Trust grows through consistency, and some changes require patience long after the initial decision has been made.

I am still learning that myself.

My hope for this Family portion of Forging Foundations is to share what I am learning as a husband and father who is still being shaped by Christ. I want to encourage families to build intentionally, including those who look at their beginnings and wonder what is still possible.

You don’t need a perfect beginning to start building your family’s future on Christ.

What is one area where He is showing you that you need to grow? What step could you take this week that would allow your family to experience that change?

Stay Faithful. Stay Strong. Forge Your Foundation.